It’s Okay to Hate The Segway: The “Waterworld” of Inventions

Though maybe not the worst invention, the Segway does have some major points against it.

#1 Marketing through Exaggeration: Do you remember back in 2001 when we were told that, “IT was coming!” No one knew what “IT” was, ohhh the suspense! And Steve Jobs even claimed that it was going to be as big as the PC. Remember Waterworld? I t wasn’t really any worse than most Hollywood blockbusters. What made Waterworld especially despised was hundreds of millions of dollars of production and marketing costs that delivered a  mediocre product

#2 The Segway is fattening America: Is it really a problem that people have to get out of their cars and walk sometimes? If you are too lazy to walk from the tilt-a-whirl to the funnel cake stand, but the theme park  forbids cars, then this is the invention for you.

#3 The Segway Made People not Respect Police: Police should only use these 4 modes of transportation: Cars, Motorcycles, Horses or walking. Granted there are a few officers out there who can pull off mountain bike riding and still look respectable, but this CANNOT be done on a Segway. Criminals may be slowed by laughter and thinking of sarcastic remarks, but otherwise this is not an effective crime fighting tool.

You want more reasons to hate the Segway? Here you go:

#4 Without the Segway, the movie Mall cop couldn’t have been made.

#5 Segways make bad mothers even worse. I jumped to conclusions on this one. To see a full explanation of this picture, go here. Sorry, sorry, sorry!

#7 Segways are a preferred mode of travel for famous Italian designer Roberto Cavalli. And yes, he is also wearing a denim shirt with jeans while smoking on a Segway. Props to the good folks at Denim Therapy for catching this shot.

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6 Responses to It’s Okay to Hate The Segway: The “Waterworld” of Inventions

  1. Dontarrious says:

    This information is off the hziool!

  2. Gilda Wenzel says:

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  3. Nick says:

    Well done with your research. The woman pushing her stroller on a Segway had cancer and was trying to keep a normal life for her daughter. At least do you research if you’re going to steal an image.

    • admin says:

      Nick- excellent point. I did not get to the primary source for that picture, and I will amend the post appropriately. My apologies for the mistake, and I will be more thorough in the future. Thanks again for your input!

    • Seth says:

      Actually Nick after further thought I take back most of my apology. Maybe this woman is trying to provide a normal life, but let’s stop and think about what she’s doing. She is only holding the stroller with one hand, and she is balanced precariously. Any small bump or slip, and that stroller is rolling away (down a hill, into traffic, etc.). Sorry she had cancer, and glad she’s making an effort, but this is still an extremely dangerous thing to do.